Meditation Mind

Sharing as a gift, That’s a real friend, and such friends are all too rare.

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Sharing as a gift, That’s a real friend, and such friends are all too rare.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Sharing is not necessarily directed to others we’ve offended. When we’re sharing, we’re being honest with a third party (and with ...

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<span style="font-size: large;">Sharing is not necessarily directed to others</span> <span style="font-size: large;">we’ve offended. When we’re sharing, we’re being honest with a third party (and with ourselves, of course) about who we are and what we have done. But in essence we’re standing in front of our ideals in a state of honesty, admitting that we have fallen short of how we would ideally like to behave.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;">So it’s only possible to confess to someone who shares the same ideals we do.</span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;">We should consider ourselves very lucky indeed if there is someone to whom we can share with in this way. We can consider ourselves blessed to have someone whom we can confide in, who can keep confidences, and who shares our ethical perspective and won’t let us off the hook. That’s a real friend, and such friends are all too rare.</span></blockquote>

Sharing as a gift, That’s a real friend, and such friends are all too rare.

Sharing is not necessarily directed to others we’ve offended. When we’re sharing, we’re being honest with a third party (and with ...

Giving forgiveness

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Giving forgiveness
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Giving forgiveness We should, in the spirit of lovingkindness, be prepared to forgive others when they apologise to us. To withhold forgiv...

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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Giving forgiveness<br /><br />We should, in the spirit of lovingkindness, be prepared to forgive others when they apologise to us. To withhold forgiveness in order to hurt another person or out of self-righteous anger is an abuse of the other person’s honesty and ethical sensitivity. We’re hardly likely to encourage people to be honest with us if we punish them for it. Of course there may be times when we feel unable to forgive someone instantly, and that’s okay. Genuine forgiveness may take time, and false forgiveness is not a virtue. But we should not withhold forgiveness out of anger or mean-spiritedness. We should give forgiveness as freely as we are able.</span><br />
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Giving forgiveness

Giving forgiveness We should, in the spirit of lovingkindness, be prepared to forgive others when they apologise to us. To withhold forgiv...

Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable despite an awareness of how all beings bring about, in large part, their own...

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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: medium; line-height: 30.6px;">Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable despite an awareness of how all beings bring about, in large part, their own joys and sufferings. Equanimity is a calm, loving awareness of the way that both joy and suffering flow from our own actions. It’s a deep penetration into our child within, or the way that we construct – for good or ill – our own experience through the actions we make.</span><br />
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Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable

Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable despite an awareness of how all beings bring about, in large part, their own...

The power of appreciation Speaking the truth on a deeper level

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The power of appreciation Speaking the truth on a deeper level
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The power of appreciation Speaking the truth on a deeper level Our speech is one of the most important ways we can take into the world the l...

<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br />The power of appreciation<br />Speaking the truth on a deeper level<br /><br />Our speech is one of the most important ways we can take into the world the lovingkindness, or metta, that we develop in meditation .<br /><br />I’ve said already that mindful speech should not only be honest, but should be meant kindly. One of the most effective means of being kind in our speech and of helping others is to express appreciation of them. This is an excellent practice.<br /><br />We all tend to delete certain perceptions from our consciousness. When we have an enemy, then we’ll tend not to notice anything positive about that person; we just concentrate on what we don’t like.<br />A tale of blindness<br /><br />When I was on the four-month retreat on which I was ordained, we had a month-long process of ordinations. One person would be ordained each night, and before the ordination, Suvajra, the retreat leader, would do what we call “rejoicing in merits,” or punya-anumodana.<br /><br />This is a traditional Buddhist practice of celebrating someone’s good qualities. So every night Suvajra had the task of finding positive things to say about the man who was about to have his ordination ceremony.<br /><br />There were one or two people on that retreat that I found it hard to like. In fact, to be quite honest, there were things about them that I really disliked. And in those cases I found myself wondering what on earth Suvajra would find to say about those people. He never had the slightest difficulty. Every night, without fail, he would spend up to half an hour celebrating the good qualities of the person to be ordained, even those people in whom I hadn’t noticed such qualities.<br /><br />And the funny thing was that when he rejoiced in the merits of the one or two people I didn’t get on with and in whom I hadn’t found anything to rejoice in, I recognized that what he was saying was true.<br /><br />Suvajra would say something complimentary about them and I’d think, yes, that’s true, I had kind of noticed that in an almost subliminal way. Right, he is playful. That’s true, he is always first in the meditation room. Although I hadn’t been prepared to consciously notice that person’s good qualities, I had still perceived those qualities on a dim, not-quite-conscious way.<br /><br />Suvajra’s rejoicing in merits allowed me to bring those qualities into a more conscious part of my mind so that I could really see that person without the distorting filters and deletions that had kept them in my mind as a shadow of themselves.<br />Seeing others more fully<br /><br />So one of the benefits of expressing appreciation is that it allows us to see others more fully. When we are prepared to really be mindful of another person, without self-blinding judgment, then we start to notice things about them that we were previously only dimly aware of.<br /><br />And I know from my own experience that sometimes I underrate myself as well. Sometimes I delete an awareness of my own positive qualities, and when someone rejoices in my merits, then I am forced to see myself in a more positive light. Then I can begin to value those positive qualities in myself and begin to nurture them. If I find appreciation so useful, then why should I deny it to others?<br /><br />Having your own positive qualities reflected back at you can, paradoxically, be very painful. Sometimes we find it hard to accept that we are not worthless. It can be hard to be made aware of qualities that we then have to live up to. So notice times when you are resistant to the positive perceptions of others. Beware of false modesty and of shrugging off the compliments that others give us.<br /><br />Without appreciation, our positive qualities must struggle to grow, and even to survive. And the same is true for others. The more appreciation we express, the more likely it is that we will create a climate of appreciation in which we will ourselves flourish. But giving appreciation so that we will get some back is not the point. If we’re acting from metta we shouldn’t be so concerned about what we get back. In the same spirit of metta, though, we should not be afraid to ask for appreciation when we feel we need it. We are all worthy of appreciation.</span><div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;">
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/06/whatever-problem-one-experiences-one.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/346417086_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/06/whatever-problem-one-experiences-one.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Whatever problem one experiences, one can think about the benefits of problems</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2014/06/lack-of-gratitude.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/278645463_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2014/06/lack-of-gratitude.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Lack of gratitude:</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-ten-stages-are-way-through-to-child.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/356892467_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-ten-stages-are-way-through-to-child.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Ten Stages are the way through to the child within.</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/04/may-all-beings-be-safe-happy-healthy.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/noimg_24_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/04/may-all-beings-be-safe-happy-healthy.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">May all beings be safe, happy, healthy, live joyously.....</a></li>
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The power of appreciation Speaking the truth on a deeper level

The power of appreciation Speaking the truth on a deeper level Our speech is one of the most important ways we can take into the world the l...

Mindfulness of the truth Bringing mindfulness into our speech

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Mindfulness of the truth Bringing mindfulness into our speech
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Mindfulness of the truth Bringing mindfulness into our speech We benefit from practicing lovingkindness, or metta, not just on the meditatio...

<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Mindfulness of the truth<br />Bringing mindfulness into our speech<br /><br />We benefit from practicing lovingkindness, or metta, not just on the meditation cushion but in our daily lives.<br /><br />And one powerful way of expressing metta towards ourselves and others is to practice truthful speech.<br /><br />It’s interesting to become more aware of why we’re untruthful. Sometimes it’s for gain (for instance exaggerating our role so that we gain praise); sometimes it’s because of fear (we thing that if people know the truth we’ll lose their esteem); and sometimes it’s out of ill will (we want to hurt someone). When we start to consider that when we lie we’re like puppets having our strings pulled by these negative emotions of craving, fear, and ill will, honesty becomes a kind of freedom.<br /><br />Sure, there are times when it’s best to leave thoughts unspoken – we need not only to practice honesty but also to practice kindness. And we need to speak at the right time. Trying to make “helpful” suggestions, no matter how well intended, can backfire when the other person is stressed or otherwise upset.<br /><br />But one of the main kinds of truthful speech that we need to practice in order to bring more metta into our lives is something very simple. When we’ve done something hurtful to another person then we should be prepared to apologize or to confess what we’ve done.<br />The art of apology<br /><br />Apology can be a form of meditation in action. Apology is being honest with another person about something we’ve done to hurt or disappoint them. And actually, when we’re apologizing we’re also being honest with ourselves.<br /><br />Have you noticed how often we rehearse lies and half-truths to ourselves? Ever done something like this? We’re on our way to meet someone and we left the house a little too late to get there on time. Plus, the traffic’s heavy, and so we find ourselves saying internally that we’re sorry we’re late but, boy, was that traffic bad. Recognize this?<br /><br />Being untruthful, whether it’s an exaggeration, an omission, or a downright lie, happens because of fear, craving (we want to get something or we crave approval), or ill will. Being untruthful is bad for us in part because it reinforces the hold that these negative emotions have on us.<br /><br />Back to that example from above, we often construct little alternative realities for ourselves to hide our failings. So when we apologize (honestly) to our friend for being late we’re not just telling them the truth, we’re also acknowledging to ourselves what the truth is. Some people construct such elaborate systems of alternative realities that they start to loose touch with reality all together.<br /><br />Sometimes these attempts at self-justification take over our meditation practice so that over and over again we find ourselves drawn back to fantasy rather than sticking with our present-moment experience. One way to help let go of these repetitive cycles of painful fantasy is by apologizing, and another is through confession.<br />Apology as a gift<br /><br />Apologizing involves letting go of our defenses and allowing ourselves to be seen as imperfect. In doing this we give people the gift of being related to authentically.<br /><br />And we’re recognizing ourselves as imperfect as well. We’re giving to ourselves the gift of self-awareness and integrity.<br /><br />We’re not pretending to be someone else. The act of apology is also profoundly reconciling. Because we’ve let go of our defenses it allows the other person to forgive us. Together, apology and forgiveness are means of communication that bring ourselves and others together in a deep way – a way based on a recognition that we are who we are and not actors pretending.<br /><br />Often we’ll avoid apologizing because we think, deep down, that apology makes us look small, but actually apologizing shows that we are big enough to admit to being wrong. And it’s OK to apologize even when we haven’t meant to do anything wrong and sometimes even when someone has taken offense quite unreasonably.<br /><br />When we say we are sorry it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re admitting that we’re at fault (although it can of course mean just that). The word “sorry” is closely related to the word “sorrow” although we rarely remember the connection. So “sorry” can instead mean that we are sorrowful that the other person is upset, even if they’ve completely misinterpreted what we said or did.<br /><br />Apologizing in these circumstances can open a door to reconciliation in a way that a defensive “that’s not what I meant” never can. Once the other person has accepted our apology there will be time to explain what we really said or meant or did.<br />Confession as a gift<br /><br />Confession is similar to apology, but is not necessarily directed to the person we’ve offended. When we’re confessing, we’re being honest with a third party (and with ourselves, of course) about who we are and what we have done. But in essence we’re standing in front of our ideals in a state of shame and honesty, admitting that we have fallen short of how we would ideally like to behave.<br /><br />So it’s only possible to confess to someone who shares the same ideals we do. If, for example, you confessed that you were contemplating having an affair to someone who actively encouraged you to go ahead and be unfaithful, then that wouldn’t be very helpful for our ethical development.<br /><br />We should consider ourselves very lucky indeed if there is someone to whom we can confess in this way. We can consider ourselves blessed to have someone whom we can confide in, who can keep confidences, and who shares our ethical perspective and won’t let us off the hook. That’s a real friend, and such friends are all too rare.<br />Giving forgiveness<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />We should also, in the spirit of metta, be prepared to forgive others when they apologize to us. To withhold forgiveness in order to hurt another person or out of self-righteous anger is an abuse of the other person’s honesty and ethical sensitivity. We’re hardly likely to encourage people to be honest with us if we punish them for it. Of course there may be times when we feel unable to forgive someone instantly, and that’s okay. Genuine forgiveness may take time, and false forgiveness is not a virtue. But we should not withhold forgiveness out of anger or mean-spiritedness. We should give forgiveness as freely as we are able.</span>

Mindfulness of the truth Bringing mindfulness into our speech

Mindfulness of the truth Bringing mindfulness into our speech We benefit from practicing lovingkindness, or metta, not just on the meditatio...

LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle

Fraser Trevor

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Title: LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle One thing we can do to bring more lovingkindness into our lives is to look at the effects of our everyda...

<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle<br /><br /><img src="http://www.wildmind.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/Fotolia_32928296_XS-255x382.jpg" />One thing we can do to bring more lovingkindness into our lives is to look at the effects of our everyday actions. We all tend to see ourselves as consumers these days, but we often don’t consider that what and how we consume has truly global effects. If we want to develop the quality of lovingkindness, then it makes sense to look at what effects our actions have.<br /><br />Of course we’d sometimes rather not know what consequences our actions have. Ignorance is bliss, right? (Well, if not exactly blissful, ignorance can be a way of avoiding taking responsibility). Once we are aware of the consequences of our actions, then we are faced with choices about how to respond. We have to deal with the discomfort that our conscience presents us with if those actions aren’t congruent with our ethical compass. So remember that you have choices here. You may choose to skip this section, for example, although I hope you don’t.<br /><br />Much of our consumerism causes harm. We can’t possibly avoid causing harm at all, but we can become aware of the consequences of our consumerism and make choices that cause less harm. It’s not a black and white, either/or set of choices we’re working with here. It’s more a question of worse/better or more harmful/less harmful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />LovingKindness, meat, and vegetarianism<br /><br />One of the main areas in which we can make a difference is that of food. We’re talking meat here (or not meat). It’s undeniable that eating meat causes harm to the animals that are killed for us. And in addition there’s a large amount of ecological damage that is done in order to feed those animals. A hugely disproportionate amount of grain, soybeans, and water goes to feed cattle in the West. This particular use of resources is highly wasteful. It takes a lot of grain and soybeans to make a pound of cow. It would be much more efficient if we cut out the animal and fed ourselves on plant proteins. It’s perfectly simple, feasible, and healthy to do this. We may have to buy a recipe book or two to get some ideas for what to cook. But once we’ve done it we’ll end up with a diet that is cheaper, probably more interesting and varied, and almost certainly healthier than a diet containing meat.<br /><br />If you don’t think you can give up meat altogether, then try cutting down. You might find that’s a first step towards vegetarianism, or you might just stick there. If you do end up going no further then at least by cutting down on the amount of meat you eat you’ll have had some effect on reducing the amount of suffering in the world. Eating only organic meat would be another positive step.<br /><br />We’re encouraged in many ways throughout our lives to dismiss the sufferings of animals as irrelevant or unimportant, or to think that animals have a pretty nice life on a farm (cartoon chickens on TV adverts, rather improbably, are always smiling). Actually, life on modern farms is stressful and painful. As a student, I worked on pig, dairy, and sheep farms, and saw at first hand how painful life can be for domestic animals. An animal’s pain is as real to it as yours is to you. And perhaps in some ways it is worse, since animals do not have the consolations of philosophy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Going a step further<br /><br />If you’re already a vegetarian then you could consider becoming vegan, or even just eating less dairy products and eggs. The production of milk and eggs also involves suffering. I’ve been a vegan for several years now and I’ve never felt healthier. I hardly ever get a cold (even when everyone else seems to be coming down with them) and when I do get ill it passes very quickly.<br /><br />Another step most of us can take is to eat more organic food (food grown without artificial fertilizers, insecticides, and weed killers). This has beneficial effects not only on your body but for the environment as well, since artificial compounds can linger in the food chain for many years. Of course it’s more expensive to eat organic food, but at least we can buy some organic food from time to time. Remember that we’re not talking black and white here. We’re talking about degrees of suffering and harm that can be avoided.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Becoming a responsible consumer<br /><br />You can look at other purchases you make. Where are the clothes you buy made? Are they produced in sweatshop conditions, or using child labor? If they do, then perhaps you could write to a company and tell them you disapprove of their employment practices.<br /><br />And there is transportation, and the effect of carbon dioxide and other emissions. These are all things that we can think about. Perhaps we can carpool (some days at least), or take public transport, or cycle, or buy a more fuel-efficient vehicle.<br /><br />These are just a few suggestions of course. Each of our lives is different, and each of us needs to look at his or her own life and see what implications the practice and cultivation of lovingkindness has.</span><br />
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LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle

LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle One thing we can do to bring more lovingkindness into our lives is to look at the effects of our everyda...

Deep penetration into the way that we construct – for good or ill – our own experience through the actions we make.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Deep penetration into the way that we construct – for good or ill – our own experience through the actions we make.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Dimensions of LovingKindness Practice The development of lovingkindness, practice is one of a set of related practices collectively k...

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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Dimensions of LovingKindness Practice<br /><br />The development of lovingkindness, practice is one of a set of related practices collectively known as the “Child Withins Home” – because they are such fulfilling emotional states to experience and because they have such beneficial effects on our lives.<br /><br />Each of these practices helps us to develop a different aspect or dimension of lovingkindness, and each of the other three practices deals with lovingkindness in contact with a different aspect of experience. or Empathetic Joy<br /><br />The first dimension of experience that we can contact with our lovingkindness is the happiness of others. When our lovingkindness meets an awareness of others’ happiness, then it subtly shifts its feeling tone. We call this empathetic joy. When we are empathetically aware of another’s good fortune, then we experience a joy that aligns itself with that other joy. We feel happy because another person is happy.<br /><br />This is not the same as a sense that we’re going to benefit because someone else has gained something that we want. For example, if a friend has inherited some money, you might think, “Oh goody, now I’m going to benefit because my friend has lots of wealth.” This isn’t lovingkindness, but is just a selfish greed that attaches to someone else’s good fortune.<br /><br />Genuine lovingkindness is unconditional. We’re not happy because we might benefit from someone else’s good fortune. We’re just happy because we like others to be happy.<br />Lovingkindness, or Compassion<br /><br />The second dimension of experience that we can contact is that of suffering. When our lovingkindness meets an awareness of suffering, then it is subtly transformed into compassion. Compassion is the meeting of lovingkindness and an awareness of suffering. Again it’s a sense of empathy. It’s not that we feel anxious or feel pity for the other person. When we feel pity we look down on them; feel superior to them. Compassion is simply a sense of love and cherishing for the well being of another when it meets the fact of that other’s suffering.<br /><br />I think it’s very easy to see that lovingkindness, compassion, and empathetic joy are social emotions. They are emotions of relatedness, and are therefore very important guides to how we connect in our daily interactions with others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"> Equanimity<br /><br />The third dimension of experience that our lovingkindness can combine with is insight into the conditioned nature of both joy and suffering. When we empathetically sense the joys and suffering of others, and also see clearly how those joys and sufferings arise on the basis of those people’s actions, then there is a sense of our practice.<br /> “equanimity”  certainly isn’t a sense of indifference, and it certainly isn’t a sense of “I told you so”. If you experience these kinds of attitudes then it means that your lovingkindness has slipped and been replaced by something more judgmental and much less positive. In fact equanimity is the opposite of those attitudes.<br /><br />Equanimity, in this sense, means that your lovingkindness is quite unshakable despite an awareness of how all beings bring about, in large part, their own joys and sufferings. Equanimity is a calm, loving awareness of the way that both joy and suffering flow from our own actions. It’s a deep penetration into the way that we construct – for good or ill – our own experience through the actions we make.</span><br />
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-ten-stages-are-way-through-to-child.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/356892467_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-ten-stages-are-way-through-to-child.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Ten Stages are the way through to the child within.</a></li>
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Deep penetration into the way that we construct – for good or ill – our own experience through the actions we make.

Dimensions of LovingKindness Practice The development of lovingkindness, practice is one of a set of related practices collectively k...

What haunts us are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: What haunts us are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place of connection. T...

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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place of connection. That of the Child Withins connection to the ancestral genetic chain....Ghosts, so claim the distinguished Hungarian psychoanalysts Nicolas Abraham and Mária Török, are psychological unfinished business. Whereas for Freud it is individual repressed traumas that return to haunt us, for Abraham and Török, repressed traumas can be transmitted down the generations. And this repression often comes in the form of family secrets.<br /><br />"What haunts are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others," they wrote. Ghosts, like dreams, constitute a return of the repressed. They are traumas that have not received a proper burial. Too painful to mourn, they are avoided and passed down the family tree. And the point about ghosts is that they have a way of coming back to haunt you when you least expect them. Assimilation only ever runs so deep.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />One of the threads that runs through so many of our child withins lives is shame. Not for what we had done, but for what our parents, grandparents, and other ancestors had done. It is as though what our forebears did had somehow become our story, and we feel implicated—as we though they had done it, or inherited it, or would pass it on.<br /><br />Another theme is lack of maternal love: mothers who were unwilling or unable to provide physical and emotional security, affection, solace, and caring because of their own limitations, blind spots, mental illness, or emotional genealogy. In some cases, the cruel hand of fate removed a mother through death.<br /><br />A third thread is absence: adults who were physically there, but emotionally remote or not present. Or who sent their children away to orphanages, boarding school, foster families, or to live with other family members.<br /><br />There are shared stories of violence, emotional and physical trauma, drug or alcohol abuse, lying, secrets, scathing words, denial.<br /><br />The goal is not to dwell on problems, but to look at what each of us has inherited emotionally, and how we can transform that inheritance, release it, or release our fear of it in order to live fuller, more satisfying lives. We had to separate our own child withins story from the story of those who came before us. Their mistakes were not ours. We had to swing open the closet door and look fearlessly at the skeletons that were rattling around in there. And then we had to close the door. There was forgiveness, self-forgiveness, commitment to make better, freer choices for our unique child within finally shedding our ancestral bonds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Our behaviour patterns can actually pass down in our genes. As our lives progress, something  turns those genes on….and, presumably, something can turn them off.The Ten Stage course of recovery assimilates that change process.</span><div>
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What haunts us are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others

When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place of connection. T...

Understanding the child within

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Understanding the child within
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Understanding the child within Meditation deals with contacting the 'child' within us, which by its very nature is peaceful, cal...

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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Understanding the child within<br /><br />Meditation deals with contacting the 'child' within us, which by its very nature is peaceful, calm and rejuvenating. <br /><br />In order to understand mediation, it is important  to know this 'child within'.<br /><br />In the meditational language, this child within is known as ' the true self' . From now onward I will refer this child within as 'Self'<br /><br />Here is a process to know the presence of this child within (self)  in you. You can take part in this process right now. In the next 10 minutes you'll experience the presence of self in you.  <br /><br /><br />A practical test : <br /><br /> Just choose a word , any word. It may be anything. <br /><br />You can choose the name of a God or  a saint or any ordinary name- Anything of your choice- Krishna, Ram, Jesus Christ, Allah, Aum, George Bush, John Karry, Saddam, Osama, America, love, hate anything!!! Your imagination is the limit. <br /><br />Have you chosen the word? OK now what you have to do is this:  <br /><br />"you have to repeat this word exactly 40 times silently in your mind (with your eyes closed and without using any external means for counting) and no thought should come in your mind during repetition"<br /><br /> You have to repeat exactly 40 times, no less no more. If during repetition, you forget counting, repeat it again. It is irrelevant whether you repeat it exactly 40 times in 1st attempt or in 2nd , 3rd or nth attempt. Main thing is that you should repeat it exactly 40 times in your mind.<br /><br />Be careful: Counting should be in your mind . No external means (not even fingers of your hands) should be used for counting. Count silently with your eyes closed and don't allow any thoughts to come in your mind while counting,  <br /><br />Rest assured: This is NOT a test of your concentration. There is no right or wrong way of doing this. <br /><br />When you finish it, come back and I will ask you some questions. So stop reading further and do what has been instructed. Next Para is relevant only to those who'll try this test. Just do it now.  <br /><br />.....<br /><br />......<br /><br />......<br /><br />Have you done it ? OK . Welcome back !<br /><br />.... <br /><br />So you have repeated a word exactly 40 times in your mind and no (or some)  thought/s came in your mind during repetition. Right? <br /><br />Please choose among the following options the one that suits you most:  <br /><br />(1) I repeat the word exactly 40 times silently in my mind and during repetition no thought came in my mind. <br /><br />(2) I repeat the word exactly 40 times but some thought came in my mind during repetition. <br /><br />(3) I repeat the word exactly 40 times but could not do it in first attempt as some thoughts pop up in mind and I lost counting. So I restarted counting and finished in the 2nd, 3rd , ____th attempt (write your attempt)<br /><br />(4) In my 2nd, 3rd, .nth counting attempt, no thought came in my mind.<br /><br />(5) In my 2nd, 3rd, .nth counting attempt some thoughts came in my mind, but I did not forget counting and repeat exactly 40 times. <br /><br />(6) I could not repeat exactly 40 times in any of my attempts because every time I start repeating, thoughts kept coming in mind and I forget counting.<br /><br />Have you chosen your option, the one which suits you. I hope you have chosen. <br /><br />Now irrespective of which option you have chosen, I ask you:<br /><br />How can you say so that the option you have selected suits you? How do you know? <br /><br />In the answer of this question, lies the presence of self in you. <br /><br />Just tell me : How can you say that the option you selected is suitable for you ?<br /><br />Suppose you have selected the option no. (1), i.e. you are the one who repeat the word silently exactly 40 times and no thought came in your mind during repetition. Just tell me how can you say so. How do you know that some thought came or didn't come? After all your  mind was engaged in repeating a word exactly 40 times, then who was there in you watching the flow of thought , who was there watching your mind as it repeats the word ? Who is there who knows that some thought came or not came . It must not be your body (as there is no participation of it in the test), it must not be your mind as it was busy repeating a word exactly 40 times. So what it is ? <br /><br />You may say - 'Well I was watching. I was aware, careful that no thought come in my mind. I was observing the flow of thoughts and I can say with confidence that while I was repeating the word, no/some thought/s came in my mind. <br /><br /><br />Who was watching ? your body ? your mind ?  or you ? <br /><br />If you were watching the flow of thought while your mind repeated a word, you should be different from your body and mind. Right ?<br /><br />Irrespective of what is the option among the above six  that you have chosen, one thing is certain. <br /><br />There was someone in you who was carefully watching  the whole repetition and who in the end gave you the report regarding your performance i.e. whether any thought came in your mind or not. This inner knower is self.<br /><br />The one who makes you aware of the existence of any thought or image and of exactly what it is, is nothing but the self, the witness. inside and outside, no matter what happens, no matter what you do, the self sees everything.<br /><br /> To know that knower i.e. self is true meditation.  <br /><br />Have you got a taste of this self through the above test ? I hope you experienced its presence in you.  Now let me tell you why this self, the so called third aspect of our existence is the central theme of meditation and is considered as the centre of meditation. <br /><br />Self : The supreme consciousness<br /><br />The whole universe is nothing but pure consciousness. Scientific researches  have taken us up to the point where we can convincingly say that at the quantum level it is just the play of energy that is going on in the entire universe. (everything  has a mass and thus can be converted into energy. Remember the famous Einstein equation <br />E = MC2 ) <br /><br />However the meditational world is of the view that in the ultimate analysis, in a more deeper level (something still beyond even the reach of quantum physics ) everything in the whole universe is pure consciousness (known also as supreme consciousness ). And it is just the play of this consciousness that is going on. The whole universe is a manifestation of this supreme consciousness. <br /><br />Everybody who is a part of this universe (which includes everything on our planet including you ) is made up of this supreme consciousness. Self,  is nothing but a part of this  supreme consciousness in its purest form.  <br /><br />What is self? It is the pure awareness of "I am", the original "I' consciousness which has been within us ever since we come into this world. Even though that 'I' exist in the woman, it is not a woman, even though it exist in a man, it is not a man. That 'I' is without form, colour or any other attribute. We have superimposed different notions onto it- notions like "I am a man / woman/ an American/an Indian". But when we wipe them all away that "I" is nothing but pure consciousness.  <br /><br />Meditation is nothing but an systematic art of realising this self. </span></span><br />
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-you-grow-stronger-our-self-doubt.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336854322_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-you-grow-stronger-our-self-doubt.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">As you grow stronger our self-doubt will weaken.</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339197490_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">You are awareness. Awareness is another name for you. Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate it</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339197225_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-are-awareness-awareness-is-another.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">You are awareness. Awareness is another name for you.</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/awareness-is-primordial-it-is-original.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/337865288_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/04/awareness-is-primordial-it-is-original.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Awareness is primordial; it is the original state, beginningless, endless, uncaused, unsupported, without parts, without change</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/05/when-child-within-was-banished-from-our.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341140596_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/05/when-child-within-was-banished-from-our.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">When the child within was banished from our consciousness we started constantly seeking approval</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-you-grow-stronger-our-self-doubt.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336854322_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-you-grow-stronger-our-self-doubt.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">As you grow stronger our self-doubt will weaken.</a></li>
</ul>
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Understanding the child within

Understanding the child within Meditation deals with contacting the 'child' within us, which by its very nature is peaceful, cal...

Tibetan Healing

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Tibetan Healing
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Tibetan Healing Related articles Research Shows Tibetan Barley Contain Extra Nutritional Value Tibetan Healing Sounds #1 -1...

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Tibetan Healing

Tibetan Healing Related articles Research Shows Tibetan Barley Contain Extra Nutritional Value Tibetan Healing Sounds #1 -1...

Meditation Mind

Sharing as a gift, That’s a real friend, and such friends are all too rare.

Giving forgiveness

Equanimity, means that our LovingKindness is quite unshakable

The power of appreciation Speaking the truth on a deeper level

Mindfulness of the truth Bringing mindfulness into our speech

LovingKindness, diet, and lifestyle

Deep penetration into the way that we construct – for good or ill – our own experience through the actions we make.

What haunts us are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others

Understanding the child within

Tibetan Healing

Meditation Mind

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