When we find we’ve become embroiled in an argument, then ask ourself and the other person, “Do we want to resolve this, or do we want to win?” The idea of “winning” comes from an ego-based and highly deluded view that our happiness is best served by getting our own way. In fact, we’re generally most happy when we get what we want and remain in harmony with others. Winning makes this impossible and often, winning is losing.
We should never assume that we have all the answers. If we instead start with the assumption that we have a viewpoint which is partly true (and probably partly untrue), then we can see others with whom we have disagreements as being partners in a joint exploration of the truth, and not enemies that have to be bludgeoned by our views.
Of course this is not easy to practice. We’ll fail a lot of the time, but anything that is worth doing involves a lot of learning by trial and error. That in itself should remind us to practice humility in our disagreements with others.
Post a Comment